It’s hard to believe that it is already May and Spring is in full bloom. We had such great meetings in Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, Canada in April. Canada as well as the United States is a Mission Field for us. Anyway, I was thinking about my Mom, who is now in Heaven and my wife Sandy, who were and are both great Mother’s and also Pastor’s wives. So Preachers the Lord has burdened me to write to your wives this month. My wife and Mom were such great examples and because they were, I wanted to share my heart with you today.
JUST FOR LADIES:
“Take heed to the ministry which thou hast received in the Lord, that thou FULFILL IT.” (Colossians 4:17)
In the ways that your husband is unique and an individual, your ministry to him is as a help meet [or completer] is unique. He is one of a kind. There is no other man in the world that is just like him. He has a unique background and upbringing, and the Lord has worked in his life differently than any other man you know. His personality is unique. He has different strengths and weaknesses in his life. God’s purpose for him and leading is different than any other men that God is using in other ways. Just as your husband is unique, his needs for a Completer or help meet might differ from other husbands.
So your ministry to him and the ways in which you help cannot be exactly the same as every other wife you know. Isn’t that a relief? But, I can’t play the piano like Mrs. so and so. I don’t know how to type. I’m not a very good ladies group leader like my friend is. “GOD GAVE YOU TO YOUR HUSBAND” because he’s special. God has made [and is making] you exactly suited for him. You’re not supposed to be like Mrs. so and so. Your husband probably doesn’t need all the same things in the exact same way that her husband needs and wants. So forget all your prejudices about what a good Christian wife does or [good preacher’s wife does], and concentrate on what the Bible says and what your husband needs. (Titus 2:4-5)
While there are many passages in the Bible that deal with a wife’s ministry, I personally think these verses gives us a good representation of what the Bible teaches Ladies about their Marriage Responsibilities. Be sober, or take your job seriously. Be the best you can be for your husband. Love Your Husband, that’s the biggest part of the job, and show him constantly that you love him, love him enough to try to be what he needs in every area of life.
Love your children. God put the two of you together, as President and Vice President of this important institution called [Your Name] Home. One of the most important jobs of your home is to raise your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and train them to love and serve the Lord with all their hearts. There is a special place for my wife and she has a special place as Mom, to be the emotional support, the kisser of boo-boos, the watchful eye of everybody’s welfare, Spiritually and Physically. She has to administer hugs and kisses, as well as an occasional spanking or good talking to. These are some of the ways that she carries out her responsibilities to love our Children.
Be discreet and chaste. Be pure and clean in your thoughts as well as in your actions in the presence of all other men. Let it be known loud and clear that you belong only to your Husband, and you’re glad that you do. Don’t allow yourself to become close friends with men, whether married or single. Avoid dangerous situations being alone with other men. Your love on every plane, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, is a special gift that God has allowed you to GIVE TO YOUR HUSBAND AND TO GUARD FOR YOUR HUSBAND.
While you should be friendly and Christian in your relationship to all others, you should also be proper and clearly defined as “UNAVAILABLE.” Everything about you ought to point out, I BELONG TO HIM.
God commanded WIVES TO BE KEEPERS At Home. That means that the primary responsibility for the duties in the home belong to the wife. Remember that the home is an Institution established by God. One of the needs in the home is Financial Support. Some married couples run a farm or family business to meet this need. But, I think that the Bible is clear that the Financial responsibility and provisions belongs primarily to the husband. (1Timothy 5:8)
By the same token, “HOME KEEPING” or the responsibilities that center in the home are given primarily to the wife. They come to mind very quickly, cooking, cleaning, laundry etc. It is not wrong for a husband to help with the dishes or cleaning, especially in times of stress and illness. Maybe he just wants to prove that he loves her, and he does a special job just to be a blessing and a help to lift her load. But being the keeper of the home is assigned to the wife first of all, and in normal, everyday circumstances, she needs to accept that as her responsibility.
Be good. Sounds kind of oversimplified, doesn’t it? But that’s what God said. Good as opposed to bad, doing right instead of wrong. Be good not only in what you do, but in what you are. Become a genuine, sincere, and godly Christian the kind of person that you are, the kind of personality that you exhibit, in the way you live, your life as a wife, as well as a believer. God is good, and you are to become as much like Him as you can be, and to develop in your own lives the qualities of goodness that you can learn from Him and from His word.
Obedient unto my own husband? Surely God wasn’t talking to you ladies, was He? YES, HE CERTAINLY WAS! God also knew that husbands would be as far from perfect as women are when He issued this command. One of my wife’s famous sayings has become, “It’s not always easy, but it’s always right”. As her husband, I have been commanded to love my wife, to protect her, to provide for her and to lead her according to God’s Leading. HER GOD-GIVEN RESPONSIBILITY IS TO LOVE HER HUSBAND, TO FOLLOW HIS LEADERSHIP, TO SUPPORT HIM, ENCOURAGE HIM AND ASSIST HIM IN EVERYTHING THAT GOD CALLS HIM TO DO. [There is no conditional trap door]. You say, well if he’s doing his part then I’ll do mine. I must do what God has commanded me to do, DO AS UNTO THE LORD, and pray about the Lord dealing with your husband in the areas where you might think that he falls short. GOD CAN HANDLE IT. He has proved that to my wife time and time again. THAT THE WORD OF GOD BE NOT BLASPHEMED. My wife says that still sound scary to her today as the first time that she read it. To think that her actions and failures of also [Wives, Mothers and Home-makers] could actually have such an impact as to Blaspheme God’s Word! It sounds serious, and it is. But every time we see another broken home and the broken promises and broken hearts that go with it, she says, that she understands why God said that all over again. Marriage is serious business, its God’s business, and we need to give ourselves whole-heartedly to making it work, and seeing God’s blessing on our lives and relationships.
Now that’s not an exhaustive study of God’s Commands to wives in the marriage relationship, but I hope that we’ve touched on the most important points. Sandy says, once she’s doing her best to be what God commands from a wife, then she needs to turn her eyes in the direction of what I as a Husband needs in his wife.
Ladies you see, it really isn’t all that hard. He married you because he decided that he loved you and couldn’t live without you. He doesn’t want you to be like Mrs. so and so, he wants you to keep being the girl that he fell in love with. Since you already won first place in that contest you can begin, one thing at a time, to find out what he needs, what he desires, and try to incorporate those things into your marriage relationship.
First, meet his needs as a man, then as a preacher or teacher or whatever God has called him to be. Now, I’m sure that many of you preachers wives had that in order in your brain, I’m sure that it has gotten out of order many times by your action as a wife.
I know there have been many times that you have been consumed in being a part of your husband’s ministry or career, that you came home completely exhausted or upset and stressed out, or maybe even too excited or preoccupied to be the kind of wife he needs and wanted to have when he got home.
You need to remind yourself, that you are a wife first, and a preacher’s wife second [or career man]. His needs for companionship, support, and understanding, for a homey, restful atmosphere, for an affectionate and loving wife should come first, before the demands of his ministry [or career].
You can become the kind of wife that your husband needs. Moreover, you are the only one in the world who can! You have an important ministry and a challenging opportunity in this wonderful thing called Marriage.
Ladies, that man that you married needs someone very much. It’s not Super Wife or Wonder Woman. It’s not a clone of Mrs. so and so, who keeps coming to your mind and discouraging you because you could never be like her. Your husband needs the loving ministry of someone special that God made JUST FOR HIM…YOU.
Wives you may not realize it but you are just as important to God and fit into His Divine Plan for the home and for the ministry. Accept your responsibility in the home as a ministry to your husband and God will bless you abundantly.
Note for Husbands: Be the kind of husband that your wife is so proud to walk by your side and appreciate her as God’s greatest gift to you. Start ministering together in love….
I pray that this has been helpful and thank you so much Ladies for allowing me to share my heart with you today.
A Servant of the Lord;
Bro. Randy Davis
